All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You
by xxboakwonxx
Summary: Dean loves Sam. He really does... but the fizzle is gone. But Dean has kept is eye on Cas lately... and that Angel is looking pretty good right now.
1. Chapter I: All I Wanna Do Is

**Title:** All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You

**Pairing:** Sam Winchester x Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester x Castiel

**Rating:** T+

**Info:** Dean loves Sam. He really does... but the fizzle is gone. But Dean has kept is eye on Cas lately... and that Angel is looking pretty good right now.

**Link to video:** www. youtube .com/watch?v=_nFHMuFY3WQ&feature=channel_page

* * *

I knew it was wrong from the beginning. Of course I did. And now that it had all started to fizzle out, it felt awkward and terrifying to always be around my little brother. The jokes were a veneer over what used to be passion, and though there was still the odd flurry of passion that overtook us at night, the butterflies were gone and I was beginning to miss having someone to look forwards to seeing. He still looked at me with those big, doe eyes. I just couldn't manage to look at him like that any more.

As I walked out of the hotel room to get something to drink from one of the vending machines, I sighed in the blue glow radiating from it as it _ka-chunk'd_ my drink out and swallowed my money with faint _ting-ting-ting_ noises. With some dread, I turned back to go into the hotel room.

"Dean."

His voice was soft, and I spun around to see him standing there. I walked past him. The thoughts that had been circling in my head the past few weeks, everything that I missed having with Sam, I could find it in Castiel. And I couldn't bear to hurt Sammy like that.

"Stop running away from me. It's annoying." Cas added, turning to face me. I stopped, and turned to face him.

"Wanna go for a drive...?" I muttered, and without a word, we climbed into the Impala, and I slid my key into the ignition. We backed out of the parking spot, and got lost in the night, driving in silence. Around half an hour into the drive, Castiel opened his mouth.

"I know you've been thinking about it."

"You know I'm with Sam. I don't want to hurt him."

"Pull over."

I did.

"Get out."

I did. I leaned against the hood of my car, and sighed. He put his hand on my shoulder, "Dean. I'm not forcing you. But you know as well as I that this is something we both want." My eyes went wide as I thought about it, and as I stepped closer, he pulled me into a kiss.

We managed to make our way to the back seat of the car, and then the clothes were off, and our hands were feeling, exploring, and touching everything. His moans and mine mixed into one, and on the deserted road outside of a small, strange city, I gave into temptation, and let Sam slip into the back of my mind as the Impala rocked with the passion of Angels.

*

When I woke a few days later, I found Sam had left for breakfast and research, and had left a note on my pillow... and Castiel was sitting next to me on my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I missed you." I stared at him for a minute. "And I want you."

"Sam... he could be back soon." I replied, and he looked at the ground.

Castiel had been infecting my dreams, always there, taunting me with something I couldn't have. The most vivid dream of mine with him starring in it lately would be the fishing dream. It was so perfect, so solitary, and yet nothing happened but Cas handing me a note. It drove me insane. I wanted him as much as he wanted me, and we just couldn't find the time to have each other, and the dreams of Anna telling me to just go for it weren't helping. Each night I seemed to wake with a start, and I'm surprised that I hadn't roused Sam with the sudden jerky wake-up calls.

"He'll be taking his time. I guarantee it." Cas murmured, and he took my hand, and pulled me closer. Once again I seemed to lose myself, and our kisses seemed so powerful. The clothes came off quickly, and our hands set back to exploring while our mouths worked frantically against the others. With arched backs and deep moans, we fell into each other and once again, forgot about the troubles of everything, every_one _else.

*

"Dean... I'm not stupid."

"Sam-"

"What have you been doing? With who...?" Sam asked, and Castiel and I looked at each other guiltily.

"With... are you fucking serious? You've been cheating on me with an ANGEL!?" Sam's face went red with anger, and I tried to think of something to say. Castiel turned to walk away.

"Cas!" I called, and he turned. Sam glared cruelly at the angel.

"This is my fault. Dean, you should stay with Sam. He's always there for you."

"But I don't feel the same with Sam! And I'm sorry, but it's true. Castiel, I want you!" I replied loudly.

"Sometimes, Dean, you can't always get what you want!" Castiel's voice was firm. "I'm sorry for hurting your brother."

"I felt more passion when I was with you than I ever have with any of the women I've ever slept with. Cas..." He shook his head at me, "Cas, I love you."

"I love you too, Dean. But sometimes, things are just not meant to work out like we planned for." Castiel's voice was soft, as if he were breaking the news to a child.

*

Sam did forgive me. It took him a while, and I understand that completely. For the first few weeks, we spent them in separate hotel rooms, and he always sat in the back seat of the Impala (though I think he may have changed his mind had he known that was the first place Cas and I had done it), and he hardly spoke to me. After time, he let me touch him again. After that, we had our first awkward night together since the argument. And after that, it was normal.

But every single time I see Castiel, I have the urge to tell him I love him, to pull him into me and kiss me, to sleep with him... every single time.


	2. Chapter II: Bleeding Love

**Title:** Bleeding Love

**Pairing:** Dean Winchester x Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester x Castiel

**Rating:** T (for some language)

**Format key:** Plain text – present tense, _Italic text _– Flashback, Underscored text – Castiel's point of view

**Info:** Dean can't keep pretending. He just wants to be brothers again... and he wants Cas back as his lover.

**Video Link:** www. youtube .com/watch?v=evEkYApORgg

* * *

"Why have you been so depressed lately?" Sam asked, and as hard I was tried, I could no longer keep my tears silenced. "Dean...?" It had been so _long_ since the Castiel incident, he probably didn't think I could possibly still be destroyed about it.

I wiped at my eyes, "Sam... I can't do it anymore. I just... can't do this anymore."

*

"_I miss you, Cas."_

"_I'm sorry Dean."_

*

"Dean, I don't know what 'it' is." Sam offered gently, and looked at me seriously, concerned. "Dean...? Please tell me?"

The memories of the first night after the Castiel Situation sprang into my mind. The way he'd looked at me, how antsy he'd appeared. The way I ran to him and gave him a hug. I had been so lonely... he looked at me like he was confused and disgusted at first. And then the 'passion' began, and though it seemed real for him, it felt like backup for me.

"Sammy... I can't do this with you anymore." I took a step away from him, and he stared at me, not exactly understanding.

*

It was almost unbearable to stay away from him for long periods of time like this. I missed him so much. "Take me to Dean."

Light swirled around me, and the wind picked up as I hunted the brothers down. Wherever Dean was, Sam would be.

But I was prepared for that.

*

He strode towards us, entering the hotel room. "Dean. I've missed you." He offered, looking down at the ground. We both knew what he meant. I gave him a look that said 'no shit, Sherlock.'. He looked back up at me. "I want you back."

"I'm with Sam." Sam looked at me in silence, trying to decide what to say. And then Castiel was gone, leaving us with a whole new set of issues.

Our feelings were mutual. I could tell that Sam hated it.

"Dean..." I had begun to walk towards the door in an attempt to go after my angel. "Dean, wait..." I sighed, threw my bag down, and left.

*

I walked into the hospital room and my eyes went wide upon seeing Dean on the bed and Sam next to him. When Sam noticed me, he suddenly grew angry and tension settled over the room. I made an exit, and began to head back down the hall.

"What happened?" I asked .

"He got hit by a car. Trying to find _you_." Sam spat.

"It's not my-"

"It IS your fault!" Sam yelled in reply, pointing towards the room over his shoulder. "He left because he wants _you_!"

"No."

"Yes it is! You don't fucking know how much this is hurting him! He shouldn't have to pick between us!" Sam lectured.

"Then let him go. He's not happy _dating_ you anymore, Sam. He just wants to be your brother again." With that, Sam rushed past me in a huff. I went back into Dean's room to sit by his bed.

"...Cas?" He croaked as he opened his eyes. "Where's my little brother? I don't want him to hate me."

*

When I was out of the hospital, and I had managed to track the tricky bastard down, Castiel and I were talking. I wanted to figure everything out, iron out the facts.

"I want you back." Cas' voice was smooth, so sure of itself.

I turned to face him, and my breath caught for a moment. "You were with me, through all the nightmares." I whispered.

_Hell, the heat was unbearable. The chains that pierced my skin were pulling at the flesh as if trying to rip it from my bones._

"_HELP ME." My breathing was ragged, and I couldn't manage to calm down at all. "SAM!"_

"Time after time, I dreamed of hell, but when I jerked awake, it wasn't Sam I wanted to save me anymore, Castiel. It was you." I explained quietly.

"Why me?"

"I love you."

"What about Sam?"

"I think it's time I told Sam that I love him. But only as my brother." I squinted against the light as I stared at the playground, which reminded me of an anthill what with the little creatures climbing all over it. I nodded a little. "Yeah."

"When are you going to tell him?" He asked me, and panic slipped into my mind.

"...Well, can't you help me tell him?"

"No."

Sam rushed past us, apparently having overheard the conversation. I rolled my eyes and followed after him.

"I've been there for you. Since this crazy mission started when you asked me to help find dad. I've been there."

"Wh... I know that."

"Then why can't you love me?"

*

"Just... just go for it, Castiel." I looked down, and Anna grabbed my hand. "They're brothers. That's... it's just unnatural." I looked up at her, looking into her eyes again. "Go for it... Cas." She gripped my hand tighter. "Please. I want to see my friend happy again."

"Anna..." I yanked my hand from hers, "I don't want to hurt _him_. I'm not selfish like you." I moved to leave.

"Then do it for Dean." I stopped in my tracks.

I knew what to do.


	3. Chapter III: Far Away

**Title:** Far Away

**Pairing:** Sam Winchester x Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester x Castiel

**Rating:** T+

**Format key: **Plain text – present text, _Italic text_ – flashback.

**Info:** Dean is so sick of Castiel disappearing when he asks the angel important questions. So he gives Cas a choice... answer the question or risk losing him for the rest of his life.

**Link to video:** www. Youtube .com/watch?v=hm7VAMhiVvw

* * *

Our lights bounced off of the walls, casting an eerie glow over the wreckage of the building. "Cas!?" I heard Sam shout. "Castiel?" I was too panicked, too choked, to call anything out myself. I led the way into the messy knot of fallen building and my light shone on...

My legs moved faster, and my heart felt like it was about to implode on me. "Cas..." My hands ran over his arms, trying to get him up, to get him moving. He sat up, startled, and helped me pull him to his feet. "Come on, we've got to go." I coaxed as sparks rained over us from the lights that had left torn wires above. I looked at him, trying to make sure he was alright.

-x-

"I hardly know what I'm doing right now." His voice was lost, confused.

"I'm pretty sure I just saved your life." I replied, trying to be serious and funny at the same time.

"Why?"

"Because I told you... I love you."

"How do I know that you won't pick Sam again?" His voice was guarded now, sick of being hurt.

"I have told you so many times now. Please tell me that you can feel it too, and I'm not just going crazy!"

Castiel looked away from me and up at the roof, taking a deep breath. "Dean, I don't know what on earth is going on anymore. I'm an angel. I'm not supposed to feel. And all of these... _feelings_ for you keep popping into my life and..." He stared at me for a moment and I bit my tongue so he'd keep going. And then he was gone.

Damn I hate it when he does that.

-x-

"I don't know anything." His voice was so strong and Sam looked so... displeased.

"Cas, do you want to be with me?" I asked with my brows raised. I felt sad that I had to do this to Sam, and yet relieved that it may finally just be over. Castiel simply turned his gaze to me, unsure of what to say.

"Just tell me already." Sam replied, his voice gruff with the threat of tears. "I don't want to keep making you two miserable." Such a Sam thing to say... I knew the kid was lying through his teeth.

"I know you're lying Sam. But Castiel, you've got to choose." Still he stared like a deer caught in headlights.

And he was gone.

-x-

The memories seemed to seep into my dreams... memories of us talking, of the cute things he said to me. And I jolted awake again, sitting up and looking around. There he was, leaning against the counter across the room. I got up and wandered over to him, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"You know that I love you." He said, staring right into my eyes. I nodded. I licked my dry lips.

"Yeah. But that doesn't answer the question." My voice was somewhat heavy with sleep. "Do you want to _be_ with me?" He looked down to the floor. I took a few steps towards him. "Castiel, why won't you answer the question? Why's it so hard to tell me?" He stared at me. "I'm asking you Cas."

_Standing on the firm, solid Earth for the first time in what felt like forty years, and I was unsure how this even happened._

"I'm asking you because I don't want to push you into it. I don't want to make you do anything... just answer the question. Because it's going to mean a big lifestyle change for Sam and I. And for you. And if you don't want to, please just tell me." I knew that Uriel and Sam were watching, that I was making this a bigger deal than it had to be.

"Don't say it-" Uriel

"Back off." Castiel snapped to the other angel.

And they were gone.

"DAMMIT!" I snapped, stomping my foot. Sam just heaved a heavy sigh.

-x-

We were sitting in the park again, and I took a deep breath and broke the silence between us. "I'm tired of you avoiding my question and disappearing every chance you get."

"Sorry."

"I just want you to know that I want you in my life."

"I know you do. And... I'm sorry I take off like that."

"Then why do you do it?"

"I don't know what to say."

"You could always tell the truth." I said simply.

"I know that you're hurt," He paused, "Because I won't tell you. But sometimes things aren't that easy to say when the person who loves you most and the person that hates you most are staring at you and you get to choose the outcome."

I wanted to tell Castiel about all the times that Sam cried over this situation, all the times I had cried about it, how many times I had ripped the Bible from its drawer in the hotel rooms and begged for him to come and see me so I didn't have to deal with the pain anymore.

-x-

"I want you to tell me. That's what I want and you know it!" My voice was hurt and pleading and there was nothing more that I wanted than for him to turn around and just say the damn words. I grabbed his shoulder and spun him to face me. "You know I love you, dammit, and that I want to be with you, so why the hell can't you say it back to me!?"

"Dean, you know-"

"Knowing isn't the same as hearing it, Castiel! So, please, tell me now, or I'm going to have to just... go." My eyes wanted to cry, and yet I held the tears in. I had to show Cas that I could be strong. "And if you and me to go, just say the word." He was silent. "I'm so sick of you never saying anything that comes anywhere close to answering what I want to hear most."

"When I first met you, I thought you were a person, just someone else that I had to work with. Now I know you're more than that. You're a pain in the ass." Cas was speaking quietly, but I could hear him.

"Yeah." I took a few steps closer, and stared at him. "What are you saying? That it matters that I'm a pain in your ass?"

"Yes." Was his reply, and I began to walk away. "But I didn't say that I didn't want you." His voice called after me. "Quite the opposite."

"What was that?" I asked, holding back tears.

"I said... I want you to be with me," He replied, and the sound of a smile laced his voice, "Despite the fact that you're a pain in my ass."

"You're sure about that?"

"More than anything." I turned to face him and he was looking at the ground. "I know that I've been avoiding telling you, because I just... I didn't want to screw up your life. Dating angels can do that. And... I didn't want to tell you anything until I knew that I was sure and that you were sure and... that I could protect you. And now... now I have the confidence to tell you that I love you, and I want to be in your life." He murmured as we stood face to face.

I had heard what I wanted to say, and relief fluttered through me.


End file.
